Yesterday, 5/13/08, was my day to do Pre-Op...all the tests, blood work, etc. to get me ready for the procedure. Dear God...I'm NOT a morning person! I must say, I'm impressed as hell with St Mary & Elizabeth/Jewish Hospital! I wasn't too thrilled when my surgeon told me that we were doing the surgery there. Wow have they made massive changes! The facility is state of the art! It's a friendly bright happy place (yep, for a hospital, that isn't real easy to do - but they did it). Everyone runs around in cheerful navy tee-shirts emblazoned with St Mary & Elizabeth Healthcare/Jewish Hospital and crisp white pants. Even the surgeons look comfy in their navy & white scrubs. A nurse escorted me personally from place to place. I never felt like anyone was rushed. Questions were answered. Everyone smiled. Everyone was NICE...amazing. The lady that took my blood (I normally pass out) kept up a steady stream of chatter about whatever - I wasn't really listening - I was trying not to pass out. Blood was taken in her office in a comfy chair. Since I'd been fasting, she got me a Diet Coke and a cookie pack. Even the folks who did the Barium Swallow (ewwwwwwww that stuff is NASTY!) were very pleasant and even let me see the monitor so I could watch the Barium trickle down my esophagus into my stomach. Hey, come on...at 6:30am it was at least entertaining. The X-Ray bed was cool as hell and kind of felt like a King's Island ride! Even the radiation lead aprons they wore were festive. The cafeteria (when I finally got to eat something) was well-stocked, food was hot and everyone smiled. Once the Barium Swallow was done, blood was taken, an EKG was done, a Chest XRay was done and everyone had some lunch, we were personally escorted back to the Bariatric Center. There we (there were 4 of us) met with the Bariatric Nursing Staff - one of whom had had the Lap-Band last year and had lost 83lbs. Another woman came by who had lost almost 200lbs! The nutrition was informative and the take-home info they gave out was extremely informative. My biggest concern is the "adjustment". And, I had no idea that when they put the Lap-Band in, there's no saline in it at first...it's just the band. Once the swelling goes away after about 6 weeks is when you get your first adjustment. Honestly, I'm REALLY concerned about my response to a needle that big and having to have a needle in my side while I'm drinking water or moving in order to make sure that there's enough in there...I'm SO squeamish about needles. However, I understand that you do lose immediately (and before on the liquid diet the week prior to surgery)...but you really start losing after the first adjustment. Oh well, if I don't pass out when they put the needle in there, I'll be fine. Then we went to the Cardiac Rehab unit and got measured, got our pictures taken (reason for jumping off the building right there - that was really hard to have a full-length picture taken)and stepped on this wildly extravagant scale that measured BMI, amount of fat, what our bones weighed, how much of what we weighed was water, what we should weigh, etc...I'm sure the thing cost a bazillion dollars - but it was totally uber-fabu. After that, we were free to go. I've been pooping pink for two days now - Barium - I HATE IT! And those "air crystals" were horrific! Icky poo! Interestingly enough, the nutritionalist told us to go out and eat everything we want this week...get it all out of our systems. Of course, we can still eat the things we want/like...just a whole lot less of it. Strange - what did I want for dinner tonight? Salad.

I guess that this is just something I'm going to have to get used to...no more Derby Day Parties for me! I'm sure that I won't miss it and will thoroughly enjoy looking slim, elegant & gorgeous in my sheath & hat next year...I may even have to break down and wear heels! Heels!!!!! To Derby? That'll be a first in a number of years! Won't it be amazing to wear heels again and now have my knees, ankles and legs hurt so bad I have to sit down. After last year at Thanksgiving, I won't go to Churchill Downs again until I lose at least 100 lbs...I got stuck in the turnstyle - talk about embarassing! I managed to squeeze through but I was never so glad that I didn't have to go OUT the turnstyle when we left after having Thanksgiving dinner. No that I really ate that much - but I really wasn't up to getting stuck in the turnstyle again. I guess that I have quite a few really bad habits to overcome...this is going to be an interesting journey.

Well...I've made the decisions to do it! LapBand Surgery it is! Now that I've made the decision, I feel a miriad of emotions - anticipation, dread, excitement, a big hole in the pit of my stomach (yeah, the one soon to be about 1/10th of the size it is now)...I have so many questions...can I really do this? is it really the right thing to do? why did my body let me down in the first place? could I have done it myself with only diet & exercise? am I doing it for the right reasons or to simply show the world that I can be thin again? I guess I'll figure it all out. For $17,500, I guess I should figure it out relatively soon. I've done the research, I've attended the seminars and now, I'm scheduled. I'm grateful to the folks at Sts Mary & Elizabeth for calling me back and moving up the surgery (what does my doctor need a 2 week vacation for???). So now, it's 5/13 for pre-op (yep, the dreaded barium swallow - sounds kinky to me, the upper GI, the lower GI, the ultrasound, the blood work and all the other happy stuff that goes with this). I'll also be meeting with the exercise physiologist and the dietician. From what I understand, it'll be a liquid and significantly restricted diet from 5/13 to when I see the doctor again for the 2nd appointment which is on 5/21. That's when my doctor will be out of the office so I have to see his colleague. THEN THE BIG DAY ARRIVES on 5/27...that's the operation day! Shea has already taken the day off from work as he's convinced that my Mom can't manage to get me in the house without him. Susan is going to be at the hospital with Mom while I'm in surgery. From everything I've read and from the numerous videos, the process takes about 20 min - but I'm in the hospital for about 4 hours. After that, I'd say it'll be an interesting week or so. So why do I feel this sudden urge to eat everything in sight? I'm sure that's just a reaction to the fact that I won't be able to eat everything in sight ever again (well, I guess I could, but it wouldn't be pretty). I also understand that I won't be losing vast amounts of weight immediately - or until after my first (gasp!) adjustment. The "port" that is attached the abdominal wall is where they inject or take out the saline according to how fast or how slow you're losing weight. I HATE NEEDLES! Guess I'm going to have to get over that one pretty fast. Ewwwwwwwww...from what I can gather, there are many adjustments within the first two months after having the procedure. Ewwwwwwwwx2. Hmmm...it's going to be interesting. We'll see how this goes. While I'm at it...I'm really annoyed that my insurance company refused to pay for this due to an "exclusion" in the policy. Fools. Idiots! They'd rather pay for me to be "borderline" Diabetic with all the meds that go along with it. OR, they'd rather pay for me to have another knee replacement...but they won't pay for "weight loss" surgery because they consider it cosmetic. Doesn't make a bit of sense...but then, they're an insurance company - what was I thinking? I can't thank my Mom enough for allowing me to get a loan from the account that Dad left us and pay it back. I guess it's appropriate - he was always the one telling me to lose 50 pounds every time he saw me. Hopefully, he'll finally be happy when I lose 150 and I won't have to hear it anymore. Strange how I still hear it after he's been dead now for almost 20 yrs. I think, however...make that I'm convinced, that this surgery will change my life - and probably save it. With that thought, I'm signing off. Tomorrow is another day!