Well...I've made the decisions to do it! LapBand Surgery it is! Now that I've made the decision, I feel a miriad of emotions - anticipation, dread, excitement, a big hole in the pit of my stomach (yeah, the one soon to be about 1/10th of the size it is now)...I have so many questions...can I really do this? is it really the right thing to do? why did my body let me down in the first place? could I have done it myself with only diet & exercise? am I doing it for the right reasons or to simply show the world that I can be thin again? I guess I'll figure it all out. For $17,500, I guess I should figure it out relatively soon. I've done the research, I've attended the seminars and now, I'm scheduled. I'm grateful to the folks at Sts Mary & Elizabeth for calling me back and moving up the surgery (what does my doctor need a 2 week vacation for???). So now, it's 5/13 for pre-op (yep, the dreaded barium swallow - sounds kinky to me, the upper GI, the lower GI, the ultrasound, the blood work and all the other happy stuff that goes with this). I'll also be meeting with the exercise physiologist and the dietician. From what I understand, it'll be a liquid and significantly restricted diet from 5/13 to when I see the doctor again for the 2nd appointment which is on 5/21. That's when my doctor will be out of the office so I have to see his colleague. THEN THE BIG DAY ARRIVES on 5/27...that's the operation day! Shea has already taken the day off from work as he's convinced that my Mom can't manage to get me in the house without him. Susan is going to be at the hospital with Mom while I'm in surgery. From everything I've read and from the numerous videos, the process takes about 20 min - but I'm in the hospital for about 4 hours. After that, I'd say it'll be an interesting week or so. So why do I feel this sudden urge to eat everything in sight? I'm sure that's just a reaction to the fact that I won't be able to eat everything in sight ever again (well, I guess I could, but it wouldn't be pretty). I also understand that I won't be losing vast amounts of weight immediately - or until after my first (gasp!) adjustment. The "port" that is attached the abdominal wall is where they inject or take out the saline according to how fast or how slow you're losing weight. I HATE NEEDLES! Guess I'm going to have to get over that one pretty fast. Ewwwwwwwww...from what I can gather, there are many adjustments within the first two months after having the procedure. Ewwwwwwwwx2. Hmmm...it's going to be interesting. We'll see how this goes. While I'm at it...I'm really annoyed that my insurance company refused to pay for this due to an "exclusion" in the policy. Fools. Idiots! They'd rather pay for me to be "borderline" Diabetic with all the meds that go along with it. OR, they'd rather pay for me to have another knee replacement...but they won't pay for "weight loss" surgery because they consider it cosmetic. Doesn't make a bit of sense...but then, they're an insurance company - what was I thinking? I can't thank my Mom enough for allowing me to get a loan from the account that Dad left us and pay it back. I guess it's appropriate - he was always the one telling me to lose 50 pounds every time he saw me. Hopefully, he'll finally be happy when I lose 150 and I won't have to hear it anymore. Strange how I still hear it after he's been dead now for almost 20 yrs. I think, however...make that I'm convinced, that this surgery will change my life - and probably save it. With that thought, I'm signing off. Tomorrow is another day!